Free Flowin Fridayz (Week 55)-Wednesday edition

Saturday-is over. I officially learned what it means to "get your a$$ handed to you," but I think the fact that I actually got it back should count for something. The End. (no more mention of that horrid day allowed)

Sunday-Worked, bowled with friends, watched "Hot Tub Time Machine" Later that night had an...umm...interesting bunch of text convos with a friend that lasted pretty late into the night..so I didn't get to sleep until 5am-ish.

Monday- woke up around 2pm, class, home, dinner, House, then...well let's just say the rest of the night was ok until I got into a bunch of trouble with my mom.

Tuesday- My sister's b-day. She's 14. ugh :/ I woke up ran into mom-got screamed at for a good few minutes, showered and then bought my sister some Chik-fil-A and took it to her at school for lunch. Played chauffeur for the rest of the fay until going home and waiting for everyone to get ready so we could take my sis out to dinner. Overall a good day, minute the screaming.

Now..Haven't finished all of my laundry..and I have to get my Biochem stuff together to figure out what I'm taking to DC with me tomorrow. That one little trip (even with my final coming up) practically negates the scream fest and all the other craziness from this past week. [More on this in the future...] Ugh, stupid packing. I haven't started that either!

But most of all is the fact that aside from academics there are always a million bajillion things going through my head and my Sunday night convo didn't help make those things go away.

Consider this: A question is posed to you in a rather ambiguous manner so you ask for clarification (although in your gut your pretty sure what is being asked, but you want to make sure). And then you get the question in as much of a clarified way as it will be. Which isn't saying much considering it is still ambiguous. So you answer kind of ambiguously. It doesn't seem to be the answer the other person is looking for so they try to clarify again. After a little while your pretty sure what is being asked, but since the other person isn't being completely 100% clear you don't want to make any assumptions so you try to answer based only on what was asked.

The askee's [one who is being asked the questions] hesitance is likely based in the fact that he/she finds it frightening that history is repeating itself once more. Perhaps the askee is a bit frightened/taken aback because of this.

Funny thing is when the question is posed back to the asker..the asker doesn't have an answer.

Could it be that the asker and askee are turning over similar situations in their heads and neither knows for sure what there position is on the situation?

Could it be that one is over thinking the entire situation and analyzing it so much that what he/she thinks is going on is really a figment of his/her imagination?

Wants/Needs; Desires/Necessities---How do you find a middle ground? Or do you? Or is it better to sometimes just choose one over the other?

How do YOU sort out your thoughts when different parts of your self want and need different things? How do you compromise between your id/ego/superego?

The likelihood of the asker broaching this topic again? Unlikely due to the slightly inebriated state of mind that was present during the first encounter

{ Endnote: Medsadzanck, I think we are waaaay overdue for a chat :/ }

Free Flowin Fridayz (Week 54)

Time flies when your having fun! or NOT! Time really sucks sometimes. I wish I had magical powers and could press the pause button or just make time move more slowly sometimes...
But alas, that is not an option.

I just spent close to $300 on plane tickets to various locations along the eastern part of the U.S.
More info on that as the times for those exciting adventures come closer. Today is the last night I have the house to myself and the time has not been spent as constructively as I had intended, so that is quite depressing.

However, a friend just called and we had a lil chat. It amazes me how some people can care enough to consistently call you to check in on you and to try and find ways to motivate you and keep you on track. I usually find myself in that position so with this particular friend I never cease to be amazed by how much he is to me like I usu am to others. It is a pleasant change in the pace of life for me. And what makes matters better is that he doesn't say "you'll be fine" or things of that nature that irk me, but rather he uses the "I have faith in you," "you just have to get this done," etc.; those types of lines. Def useful. Finding ways to empathize with a person and attempts at evoking feelings of confidence in a person are the way to go. I'm glad someone in my life has learned how to do this.

A particular pet peeve of mine is when I tell someone something and they go ahead and say that thing to someone else. [and then they tell, me "but you didn't say not to tell] First of all, if someone tells me something I always make the assumption that that thing was only for me to hear. If I later find out that it is public knowledge then I may engage in conversation about it. Or if I really want to talk about it I'll ask my informer if it is something I need to keep to myself or not. But anyway, because I've learned that ppl act this way, I try to make sure I emphasize "DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE" when I especially don't want something known. Sounds reasonable right? I ask you to keep quiet and you keep quiet. Why the hell, then, is it that people will go right ahead and blab! WTH??!!! I JUST told you less than 24hrs ago not to tell anyone.

Why does this matter you ask? Ok well first of all, let me preface by saying- any "secrets" or anything in particular that I don't want to be known, I probably won't tell anyone or maybe only one veeeery select person and after I've become sure of their ability to keep things quiet.
Anyway...I told someone something and told her not to tell anyone else. She went around and told the EXACT person I didn't want her to tell. [I didn't want her telling this other person because I wanted to tell him myself! I wanted this something to be a surprise from MY mouth not via second messenger] So when I am talking to my other friend and tell him about X situation that I intended to be a surprise, he says "oh yeah so and so told me" OH MAN that really ticked me off. That was the last straw, this other friend just won't be told anything of importance from now on until the last minute.

I give a lot of chances, but some people just do not know when enough is enough and when I'm serious. I will accept responsibility for not being as direct as I can be all the time, but what is more direct than "do not tell anyone." Sheesh. The level of integrity some people have these days...

Oh and funny-ish thing, I gave a friend of mine the link to the blog when he asked me for it. I didn't think he's actually go through and read a lot of my old posts...Not sure if he's actually going to keep up with it, but now I must be careful of what I post/how I post it if I want to mention Mister X

O:)

Ok study break over.
Peace, Love & Chicken grease!

Oh and in reference to a convo H.S. & I have had before...walking the line between friendship & more...OR...less--is a very interesting, precarious, enigmatical one indeed.

Free Flowin Fridayz (Week 46)-Saturday edition

Normally you hear about addictions to things...material items or food for instance. That's normal right? But how often do you hear that a person has an addiction to another person. I for one will confess that this has happened to me twice since leaving Emory. Most recently, I have found myself thinking "oh dear...I think I'm addicted to ______"
I told one friend about this and she kind of laughed along with me saying it wasn't so abnormal considering the present situation I'm in (having graduated and moved back home :/ ) Anyway...being back here it seems like I've been at a loss for any real intellectual/intelligent conversation. A gaping hole had been created where all my Emory friends and professors had been. Granted I don't consider myself the brightest apple in the bunch, but I do enjoy a good stimulating conversations. Be it conversation about the health care debate, something else in the news, tea, good places to eat, good food, a movie, a book or just a getting to know more about an individual and his/her goals and aspirations and life in general. Listening to gossip and seeing the teeny boppers of today makes my brain feel like it's rotting. Makes my Emory degree feel worthless.

So this "Bob" character I mentioned last time...he fills that hole. It's like I can breathe again. I don't have to define every word that I say or write, I don't have to dumb down things I say so that he'll understand it. It's like one of my Emory buddies has come back to me! Unfortunately, I am once again walking that fine line of friendliness vs. flirtation (story of my life). I'm pretty sure he understands where I'm coming from because I've been quite straightforward with him, so it's cool. It's just the other crazies at work, but whatever. His interpretation of my addiction is that I have an "addiction towards intellectualized conversation...simply addicted to knowledge." I think that kind of fits my present situation. I like being able to chat with someone about anything from the weather to a recent movie to chocolate to tea to the news to career goals. It really helps keep your brain working. And I think that is vital. After all, according to research, around the age of 22 is when the our peak brain/mental capacity is. I am looking into plenty more years of school and by the time it starts back up I'll be a little ways removed from the 22 region so I have to keep it active somehow.


SN: Ferrero Rocher chocolate is simply delectable! Unfortunately it is a bit pricey and I am moneyless :/ Like a friend of mine said "This is why we need a man in our life" LOL. Yum yum expensive chocolate. Soo painful walking past it and not being able to buy it.

Free Flowin Fridayz (Week 40) * New Year 2010 edition *

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

The year 2009 has passed and 2010 has come.
{I have started and stopped this post so many times, trying to find the right words to express the roller coaster of a ride the year 2009 has been for many of us.}

Well actually the entire decade has seen us through high school and through college and for many of us in to graduate schools and future careers as well. A lot has transpired in these years.
The first have of 2009 was both happy and sad for me. I tried to spend as much time as I could with my friends. I even made a promise to get out more since it was Senior year. I only wish I had made that promise sooner, but I really do need an extra push and a hand to guide me when it comes to certain social things that are out of my realm of comfort. However spending time with my Emory family was precious to me. The second half of the year was just uuubbber stressful and we won't really talk about that. Instead I will reminisce on happy things.
My dearest WTF I LOVE you all, wish you the happiest New Year and hope that we can continue to keep in touch for years and years to come!

~And for my beloved bloggers, I have a few words~

To Travis: Thank you for being there for me through the years. Orgo helped our bond become stronger and I really couldn't have done it without you. Our friendship has had so many benefits from advice giving to keeping us on track towards our goals. I hope it continues to blossom. You know I am here for you no matter what it is. A complaint, a question, a helping hand, an ear to listen. Whatever, I am here. [Just don't go tryin to steal your mentee just because your all frat brothers and what not now :P hehe. LOL]

To Geden: You my friend, are a bundle of joy. LOL. I reaaaaallly wish I were able to hang out with you more during the 2 years you were there, but the times I did they were wonderful. Most of all you have this way about you...you just tell things as they are. Without that I really probably would have been a biiig mess this past summer, but you really helped me put things into perspective and I am forever grateful for that. Thank you. I hope that our friendship continue to grow and that we can always be there for each other.

To Givi: Wow us 2 Gemini's have a lot more in common than I ever imagined. It's interesting how little I saw of you at Emory, but how close I think we have become. At least in terms of certain personal stresses in our lives. I'm glad we are on the same level when it comes to dealing with people. Whether it be friends, loved ones, etc. We have a very similar approach and moral fiber when it comes to those situations and it's good to know I am not alone in feeling the way I do about certain things. Thank you. Hopefully we will actually be able to reconnect either vocally or both vocally and visually one day.


To Igor: I really don't know if you can grasp just how much your trip to Jax with Travis meant to me. Six Flags was awesome and I was glad you were able to come with us. It really wouldn't have been as much fun without you! So were other random outings I was on with you guys, but you coming to Jax was unexpected and total icing on the cake! Thanks Igor! Even though your words are few, your smiles are plentiful and I hope I can keep them in my life for years to come!

To Rico: I really really want to see that Georgian dance imitation of you! Someone please send me the link ASAP! But real talk: Actually that's the best thing about you Rico, any random convo that takes place with you is always so deep and memorable. I don't care what others may say about you, we all have our flaws. Some more than others. But you Rico are a very intelligent young man. You have a lot to say and while many may not agree with all of it or any of it, I think everyone needs to have a few chats with you before they judge. I just hope I get the chance to have some more chats like that with you. Whether the chat be on books, politics or TV shows it's always enjoyable and always brings a smile to my face :) Thank you.


To Jenelle: It's very interesting how our friendship has taken root through the last semester and through AIM. I just want to say Thank You for all of your support and encouragement. It really means a lot to me. If I ever get too annoying you can just tell me to hush. LOL. Congrats on your acceptances and kick some pharm school butt next year! Keep on keeping in touch and hopefully when I have more essays to write in the future you can try to keep me on track!

And to cap this off, I want to share a Girl Scout song with all of you. This summarizes everything I might want to say to all of my WTF, those bloggers mentioned above as well as other wonderful people like Paulee', Milla, Rho, Ashley, Janel, Connesia, Sarah...I didn't forget about you, I LOVE YOU!
This is for ALL of you!

Make New Friends
Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
the other is gold.

A circle is round,
it has no end.
That's how long,
I will be your friend.

A fire burns bright,
it warms the heart.
We've been friends,
from the very start.

You have one hand,
I have the other.
Put them together,
We have each other.

Silver is precious,
Gold is too.
I am precious,
and so are you.

You help me,
and I'll help you
and together
we will see it through.

The sky is blue
The Earth is green
I can help
to keep it clean

Across the land
Across the sea
Friends forever
We will always be

In the heart of dear old Emory
Where the sun doth shine,
That is where our hearts are turning
’Round old Emory’s shrine.

We will ever sing thy praises,
Sons and daughters true.
Hail we now our Alma Mater,
Hail the Gold and Blue!

Tho’ the years around us gather,
Crowned with love and cheer,
Still the memory of Old Emory
Grows to us more dear.

We will ever sing thy praises,
Sons and daughters true.
Hail we now our Alma Mater,
Hail the Gold and Blue!

Free Flowin Fridayz--Saturday Edition--(Week 24)

So I think a good bit on the topic of friendship. The more I think, the more dynamic I realize friendships can be. What has recently come to my mind is the depth of relationships within a network of friends.

For example:

With one group of friends you may share the same dreams and aspirations such as wanting to pursue a career in medicine or business. This enables you to form a close bond in which you can easily discuss your dreams, hardships, obstacles, fears, etc. Much of your conversations surround these career and goal-oriented topics. With these friends you might be more hesitant to delve into more personal topics with and only skim the surface of such issues.
So this relationship-let us call it the "Academic" one.

With another friend or two you might be able to discuss more random and bizarre things and even more personal things. Topics of discussion may range from the news, how school was, relationships with other friends or significant others, family issues, etc. You skim the surface of dreams, aspirations, goals, etc. I mean you know what these friends want to do with their lives, but for some strange reason you don't ever really discuss it deeply. Why? I really don't know...Let's call this the "Personal" friendship.

The ideal friendship would be composed of all of the traits of the "Personal" and "Academic" friendships combined.

Obviously some people's closest friends all share the same aspirations. But sometimes your friendships are split along these two paths.

My question is, why is it so hard sometimes to combine both of these? Or better yet the question should be HOW do we combine these traits?
How do we make it to where we can talk just as easily about personal stuff as about academic?

Can we really do this?
Or is it better just to leave them separate?

People/Professors who Care...MATTER

Soo...As some of you may or may not know/have realized...I've been kinda stressing for the past few months [since even before graduation or..well maybe even since last summer...] Anyway, some people have a way with words. There comes a point in everyone's life when they need help making decisions and a push in the right direction. Your true friends are constantly there to provide you with the assistance you need. From experience I know that Geden doesn't beat around the bush . You lay out your story/problem, he'll give your a straight answer/suggestion and won't just leave you with the generic "It's up to you" answer [THANK YOU].

Everyone of us has his/her own style of 'advice giving' but to me, I think it is AWESOME when you have reached such a level of trust/mentor-mentee relationship with a PROFESSOR that you practically consider them one of your own friends. Luckily I have this type of relationship with 3 professors I took classes with at Emory. Below is a message (slightly edited for the sake of some anonymity) just sent to me by one of these professors [because I've been stressing to all 3 of these professors]. I just wanted to share this with you and really get you all to think about how important such relationships are. And also so that we can all learn from each others experiences. Friends are great, but I think an older, wiser, more experienced person treating you kind of like a friend is a very good/healthy thing to have in your life. It rounds out the whole deal and gives you a more well-rounded support system in my opinion.

"The bottom line is that your future consideration for admission to medical school will depend considerably on how much you can improve your MCAT, as well on some demonstration of continued commitment to becoming a doctor. Neither of your two plans will matter if your MCAT doesn't come up... I think medical schools would be happy with [a] postbac...if in the end your profile improves. The same is true if you were to go back to FL to take courses and then retake the MCAT and improve significantly. So from my perspective it is really up to you what you do, and I would select the path that you are most interested in following, because only then do you have a chance of demonstrating your commitment while optimizing your profile on paper. Any one would be impressed with your enthusiasm, dedication and motivation, so if you can bring up your MCAT that will help enormously. You know what you have to do!! And I am there to cheer you on.

All the best,
[professor X]"

Free Flowin Fridayz

I think I will remain in denial until August or at least until I have a clue what I am going to be doing with my life. Until then I shall ignore the fact that I will not be seeing my dear old Emory and precious friends for a while. -The End for now-

It seems like college friendships might actually be stronger than those we have previously established due solely to the fact that we spent soo much time together. That being said I am praying with all my heart that some are maintained to the extent that will make me happy. So far one is proceeding much better than expected from the other friend's side and I have to start pulling my weight to before I am outdone! Hopefully this can be maintained and strengthened. ESPECIALLY before certain ppl go down career paths that make me worried and queasy :/

Life throws us many obstacles indeed. I am not one to ever say the "Q" word. (hint: begins with Q ends with it and has a "u" in between) I do not easily give up, nor am I easily discouraged. But even a steel wall will show evidence of wear and tear by way of dents after being brutally attacked/beaten up. In a way I currently feel similar to that steel wall. *SiGh*
So many people are figuring out their paths and I am going into month 12 or straight application writing. I am tired, worn and beaten though still breathing, but-at times it seems-barely. I mean after all we're only human, and since I can't see into the future each rejection letter just makes me not want to apply to any more things and just sleep. Better yet-HIBERNATE!

Then there is the issue of having soo many options you don't know what to do. Mom says do this, professors says that, advisor says X. No two say the same thing and it sucks because then your stuck deciding on your own and risking a huge disappointment for someone but most importantly yourself.

Free Flowin Fridayz (Saturday edition)

Just got back home about 2 hours ago. Van is full to the MAX..no idea how I am going to unpack everything or where I'm going to put it. Anywhooo...that's why this post is late. Also I am still in complete denial about Monday and have yet to become anything but numb, so instead of discussing May 11 right now ( I think I will postpone that until next week) I have decided to share a poem I wrote as one of my assignments for my Comparative Literature class. It will serve as a good segue into what I will probably want to discuss later on. It is called a Sestina, which is a poem in a VERY specific poetic form (Google it to read up on the stipulations of how it must be written). It took me about 6-8 total hours of thinking and editing, etc to get the product I turned in. I myself cannot even explain what I mean by some of the things I wrote, but it was what my pen put on paper. And seeing how you are all friends that I truly love and value-after much debate- I have decided to share it with you. Comment/Discuss as you see fit:
***each stanza is actually 6 lines and the last is 3lines-the formatting on the blog may throw it off a bit***

Dear Friend

Friendship is like a roller coaster ride

filled with many twist and turns

that leave you fearing for your life.

Regardless of your terror you know you love

it and how happy it makes you

feel. You are flying almost like in your dreams.

But in those dreams,

you get on this ride

with your best friend. You

know he hates coasters and turns

to you and says, “I love

you dearly, but I fear for my life!”

“Fear not my friend,” you say, “for your life

is not one I would risk. Not in my wildest dreams!”

The connection you share is based on a mutual love

and respect for each other, not on a free ride

you can get to the airport. He turns

around, looks at the roller coaster and says to you,

“Fine, I’ll do this just for you.”

Those words are enough to make life

worthwhile. But soon this dream turns

into reality and you realize that not all dreams

come true the way you want them to. You ride

along the road of life hoping that the love

you give will be returned. Such a strong love

between friends is one that you

have always wished for and for which, you would ride

to the ends of the Earth and back. Life

means nothing without this bond and your dreams

mean the most when you have someone to share them with.Turns

out that this challenge of friendship turns

your heart inside out and spreads your love

all around. While it may be that your dreams

rarely come true, in the end it is up to you

to make the most of your life.

And never forget to enjoy the ride.

Your friendship turns many heads and raises skeptical eyebrows, but you

know the truth, believe in its depth and do your best to love your friend and the life

he lives, knowing that dreams are only as precarious as the roller coaster you choose to ride.