I have about a month of school left before I'm done. I'm not sure how to feel. How should I feel???? Financially, I need to get out of here. Socially, my best friends are here at Emory. It is ackward with most friends back home cause I have "college stories" and most of them just....been living life in Spartanburg. I guess in the back of my head, I feel like I will miss out on things or be forgotten. With school, it is easy to forget about the people you don't see very often (I've definitely done it). There was one individual (won't say her name) that was mad at me for graduating early. I got mad at her but later I felt.....sad because she was going to miss me. Then, I think "I'm only in SC". Not a very long drive for me to visit. But, after 3 summers at home, I know just how distant my hometown is from Atlanta. I get there, get really busy (working, etc), and I don't make it out.A big part of me wants to stay in ATL. My older sister is here and will be alone if I leave.....but my mom is alone in Spartanburg. Awwww, I feel bad either way. I think about the decision everyday although I should be focusing on school. Right now, I would not graduate because of two classes! I am not doing well in them for many reasons. I gotta figure something out. I was on the phone last night and told someone that "I am depressed". This is kind of accurate but hopefully the holiday season will bring a lot of happiness. [I have officially begun gift shopping for everyone...almost everyone].
I feel bad when people ask me "are you okay?" I say "yeah, I'm good" but this is not always true. There have been a few personal losses in the past few weeks and I haven't spoken to anyone about it (this is the first time I have mentioned it to anyone). Emotionally I am handling it well. Maybe because school keeps me so busy that I don't have time to feel (some)things.
I need to make some calls cause a few people are worried about me. I get off FB and some people get really worried. I still need to thank my aunt and grandmother for birthday cards.....my grandmother is going to lecture me and I must ignore her (the relationship is complicated). I will try to make part 3 more positive. If it is not...I will keep it to myself.
3 comments:
hmm what is that expression.."You hit the nail on the head..?" Every day I find out more people I know are graduating early, and then all the questions about what do you plan on doing after you graduate pop up.
I try not to think about it, but the separation from people we have grown close to is drawing nearer. Since most of us are going to end up in grad schools in different parts of the U.S. or the world for that matter it is going to be up to us to choose those people we care about most to keep in touch with and just figure out ways to do that. I have been able to keep in touch with a select few from high school and it has worked out ok.
Try not to take too much upon yourself alone. Find a means of letting out your stress, be it talking to friends, family, writing or even a walk through Lullwater..I don't want to see you disintegrating as you graduate. Your the one who helped keep me in one piece last year!
Some food for thought:
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." ~Confucius
"The best way out is always through." ~Robert Frost
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them."
~Henry David Thoreau
"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it."
~William Arthur Ward
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." ~Epictetus
Yaz, you have picked a good time to offer some good advice, relating (you understand the mixed emotions), and some quality quotes. I will remember this stuff as I take on another week.
My interviews are for SC schools, you and G didn't apply to either. It pretty much set that we're separating. Damn!! 3.5 years were not enough! When I visit next semester, you better clear the schedule (but I will notify ahead of time).
o long as there is advanced notice I am good :)
yeh I know we didn't apply to either of those schools...But look at it this way, it is likely that we all stay ono the East Coast.
hmm maybe we could apply now to SC. Only if I can use old essays I already have. LOL. I actually do need to find a replacement school to apply to to take the place of the one I'm not submitting.
Post a Comment