What a crazy week it has been. First there is the strange killer headache I had for about 6 days. Then my mom trying to FORBID me from ever speaking to one of my CLOSEST friends [My blood still boils every time I think of this event and it happened Tuesday night]!!!!! I just want to SCREAM or PUNCH something!!!!! So she warned me that she would keep an eye on me and bug me whenever I was on the phone with this friend and so now I have to strategically plan out our talk time or otherwise abruptly hang-up when I feel like mom is going to pester me.Then there is me getting home at about 12:20am (a little over an hour ago) to deal with my mother telling me that "No girl should ever get home after midnight. From now on you must be home by 11:30pm" (yes yes I know..I turn 22 in less than week). But this is my life under my parents roof. At least I got to spend some time with some sigh school friends.
As much as I want to be there for my little siblings ( 8 & 13) as they grow up...I'm not sure I can actually last for extended periods of time here...We shall see where life leads me though. Will I be stuck in Jacksonville for a year or will I get to live in Miami, Philadelphia or DC for a year (even thought all of those options will put me in the most debt I have ever been in at one time)?...No use in dwelling over it, all I can do now is sit back and play this game one day at a time, PRAY, and pretend that I am in high school again.... *SiGh* All I want to do is SLEEP and I can't even do that. WTH?
Funny thought...I still think I am in denial about having graduated. I really don't know when it will hit me. Nor do I know how I will react when it does hit me...I don't think such an extended phase of denial is healthy...but once again...there is nothing I can do about it.
...I really wonder what this headache I had was from. Stress? Bad side effect to a medicine? No idea! Oh and either I have been bitten or I'm allergic to something/have allergies because inside my left eye and all around it really itch...
Looks like I just got my first deposit of $ from work. Gotta go pick up the actual paycheck to make sure I haven't been jipped any hours.
5 comments:
im sorry to hear about your problems at home yaz. i think its always hard to get used to living under parents' rules again after living on your own. hopefully things will get better soon. just try to keep in mind that they only do what they believe is best for us...even if we dont agree
Headache is probably from combo of everything going on. Maybe try to establish a level of respect that your mother must give you. If she won't meet that level then pull apart from her a little. Make her understand that to stay close, she actually needs to give you space and start treating as full adult Yaz.
With that said, not having a firm grip on your life/future plans makes it easy for parents to treat you as child and not an adult.
I understand you wanting to be there with your younger siblings but you are not their mother. Big sister has a right to live her life. If you don't live your life and make your own decisions.... they will follow your footsteps and end up having same problems you are having.
The phrase "It's family business" comes to mind right about now :)
I <3 you all!
1. I think you should have a heart to heart with mother dearest. I think you should remind her that she has done a great job of raising a sound minded Yaz and instilled the same family values she has in you. I hope it gets better, too.
2. What's in Philly! We didn't talk about Philly......
1. Yeh heart to heart probably wouldn't go to well. I just have to take it all in and deal (religious/cultural factors always at play here)
2. Drexel is in Philly-some post-bacs and special 1-yr programs.
and American University is in DC (Janel is doing a post-bac there and bugged me until I finally submitted the app)
However all of the schools and jobs I've applied to are taking there time to get back to me. Wooohoo
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